Romans 12:19–21 (NKJV)
19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
20Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
21Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.
What is the best way to get back at someone who hates you? You love them!
In a movie one man said to the other, “God hates me”. The second man replied with, “Hate Him back, it works for me.” Hate never works. Unfortunately, so many live their lives hating others back. Many calculate in their minds how they can get back at the one who has hurt them. And yes, many hate God.
1 John 4:20 “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”
1 Peter 3:9 (NKJV) “not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”
Heaping “coals of fire” on someone’s head seems rather mean and drastic. Heaping coals of fire is loving, not hating. We do not return evil for evil. WE MUST NEVER RETURN EVIL FOR EVIL. Retribution is not showing strength, it is showing weakness. Loving the one who does evil is showing the strength of God. We reach out in love to those who hate.
We may never know what is happening to another person. We do not know what they are dealing with. We are to reach out in love. Isn’t that what Christ did when He came to this world. He reached out, gave Himself for us. Those who deserved to be eternally separated from Him. He loved us so much He suffered and died on the cross so we could have eternal life. 2 Corinthians 5:21 “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” He took on the sin of the world so we could have an eternal relationship with Him.
My experience has been when I held on to unforgiveness the only one I was hurting was myself. The phrase “Let go and let God” has a lot of freeing power in it.